We all have our weird things. I have a lot of them. These are 7 out of hundreds.
1. Turning On Headlights
Every so often I see someone with their headlights on when I don’t. And once in awhile I agree that I should go ahead and turn my lights on. Perhaps it is cloudy or perhaps it is dusk or maybe it’s just plain dark and I should know better. But this poses a little bit of a problem for me. I don’t want the oncoming driver to see me turn on my lights. I wait until the they have passed by before I do it. I don’t know exactly why I do this. Perhaps I am embarrassed that my lights weren’t turned on. Perhaps I just don’t want to give credit where credit is due. Like maybe I don’t want that person to go around thinking better of themselves because of it. It’s really silly, I admit it.
2. Million Dollar Bet
I play a betting game throughout my day. Once in awhile I come across a situation in which I feel that I could make a bet that could either cost me one million dollars or net me a smaller amount. I say a smaller amount, because I generally bet on a something close to a sure thing, and no one would take that bet for a lot of money. It could be a little thing like remembering to pick up my dirty clothes. Or it could be a slightly daunting task like opening plastic packaging for a flashlight. I may be frustrated with it but I know that I will get it, and it’s worth the risk of a million dollar loss.
I never bet on the lives of my children because nothing is a 100% sure thing. I mean, I could be trying to open a package and have a stroke and wake up without children. I’m not sure exactly who I’m betting with. Perhaps it’s Satan.
3. NPR Interview
Once in awhile, I have something to say that either no one would be interested in hearing or it is only a fantasy. So what do you do in this scenario? Well I interview myself on NPR. Perhaps I fantasize that I published a best selling novel or I did something else extraordinary enough to warrant me national attention. I’m certain that people have seen me do this at a light before, but if asked, I would just say that I was having a hands free phone call. It helps me work things out sometimes. I have this idea that if I prepare for the interview that it might bring it into being. So far it hasn’t worked.
4. Shower Mindfulness
I like the idea of mindfulness. Part of it is simply noticing when something is different in the way that you do something that you’ve done many times, but my problem is that I rarely make it through day in a mindful state. However, I usually make it through a morning shower. Perhaps I switched the order of procedures in the shower without doing it on purpose. Or perhaps I dropped the soap at a time in my process in which I may have never done so. And I marvel at it, thinking, “Wow, this has never happened before in my entire life.” This is usually a good time to make a million dollar bet.
5. Sneezes
Ok folks, I’m secretly judging you. If you sneeze once, I will say “Bless you”. If you sneeze twice, I will say “Gesundheit.” But if you sneeze more than that, you’re on your on, buddy. You need to get it together and stop being so needy for attention.
6. Hiccups
At some point in my life, I discovered a method for curing hiccups 99% of the time. I swallow some breath and then hold it down long enough for my body to panic. Once you have a few hiccups, you’re stuck with it for awhile. I have had hiccups only once since I learned how to do this. So if you have the hiccups and it’s becoming a nuisance to me, then I am secretly cursing you. In my mind I’m thinking “You inconsiderate bastard. You have let this happen. You didn’t even try.”
7. Shaving Contest
I shave blind. I don’t remember when I started doing this, but I shave with my eyes closed while I shower. I’ve never known anyone else to do this, and I think better of myself for it. When I do it, I speculate that it could make me a shoo-in for a shaving contest. I don’t know if there is such a thing, but I feel that I could shave faster and cleaner than anyone who has to look in the mirror.
Import complicated 